Thursday, 23 November 2006

Oh ! What a beautiful morning ... (I'm Home !)

I am home, and how wonderful it is to be Home; the sky is blue, the rain drops are sparkling on the bushes outside the window. The leaves have blown off the trees so I can see the far hills' horizons outside both bedroom windows, either side of the river valley. Without the leaves I was able to watch a Lesser Spotted Woodpecker climb along the Big Tree's branches upside down.

How wonderful it is to return to proper Earl Grey tea in one's own china mug, but I wish I had one of these which would say it all for me. What follows is not for the faint hearted, it is primarily to record it for me.

I remember coming round from the anaesthetic saying: Is it gone ? Yes ? Magic ! I do hope the neuro surgeon did not take offence at that seeming dismissal of her expertise and skill in removing a quite large skull osteoma and a baby one adjacent. Quite a lot is still numb, quite a lot is not and boy does it hurt ! The top of my head must have been given a week's supply of anaesthetic because I cannot feel my scalp; perhaps the medics were being kind and gave me an extra injection, to see me through the next few days. I have to brush my hair looking in the mirror because I cannot feel what I am doing. But I can feel the pain of a tight clamp around my head, and feel the weight of a heavy skull cap of immovable clay (this is an imaginative not literal description) and it is sore ... AND I have a headache, and my head hurts, and all those different things are happening all together.

Incredibly, I had a whole day without tinnitus. Without the high pitched screech that always accompanies me, somewhere off the top left of my head. Without the loud white noise in both ears. A whole day without the feeling of fullness and pulsing in my right ear - imagine a large sea shell glued to your ear and that whooshing turned up to full volume. I had a day when (I thought) I could think straight without all that noise. It was nice while it lasted. Not quite a cure for tinnitus, but for a day I could imagine it might be. Maybe there is something in DIY trepanning after all!

I remember coming round from the general anaesthetic shivering with cold and then gulping down oxygen as if I had a raging thirst for it. An hour with an oxygen mask must have helped somehow, because I felt wonderful. I thoroughly enjoyed the electric hospital bed, infinitely adjustable under my shoulders, head and knees. I would like one at home please.

Back home reality, and the swelling, hits. I have a huge swollen
forehead bulging out, two black eyes, and bruises along my cheek bones. I have staples standing out from my skin, holding my skin to my skull, so that my forehead's skin isn't pulled down my face by all the swelling - well, that is my explanation - the staples are like a little fence running along the top of my forehead along the hair line all the way from one side of my forehead to the other - I am not going out for at least a month ! Or two or three or four (aarrgh, don't panic Sally, don't panic). I have the hair re-style, now all I need is the outfit to go with it, and a time machine, and I would not look so out of place back in the 12th century.

I am too tired for any 'work' or visitors, except staff (yes, home helps and PAs are wonderful, I could not manage any of this without them), and my 'Bump' - the one I gave birth to twenty eight years ago. So this is going to be a bit of a holiday. The stair lift man came and fixed it yesterday, asking me through the door (I cannot be seen, I am too too frightening!) did I want it to go a bit faster ? Yes please ! Result.

I have lots and lots of lovely drugs so I am feeling distanced from all the tingling throbbing pulsing aching stuff I can still feel. My GP is ringing me daily, bless her. I feel well looked after.

I am so, so glad I did not know it was going to be like this beforehand. I am so glad my training and working life was in employment law, counselling and local government, rather than medical stuff, because I really did not know what I was letting myself in for. Ah well, its over now. Thanks to my guardian angel, friends and bloggers for all the positive vibes and cards and messages of support.


Blogger BloggingMone said...

I am so glad to read it all worked out well in the end! I can imagine how awful it is to have a swollen forehead, a headache and the rest of the unpleasantness which accompany a surgery like yours. But - you are back home and back to the blogsphere!
Erm... how many mph is your stair lift doing now? Would it make an entry in the Guiness Book of Records?

Thursday, 23 November 2006 at 15:19:00 GMT  
Blogger spotted elephant said...

Not knowing ahead of time really is a gift. Because now, with the pain, you can chant "The surgery is over", and that's a wonderful thing.

I'm so glad that you're home, and that it went well, and that it's OVER! I hope the meds pull you through the worst of the pain, and I'm sending you gentle (((hugs))).

Thursday, 23 November 2006 at 22:45:00 GMT  
Blogger Sally's Life said...

Thanks BMone, waking at 5 am, the blogosphere is a welcoming friend, to hell with the hand and arm tingling. When I get really bored with resting, I will time the stair lift going up and down and convert it into a 0-60 mph in how many seconds/minutes/hours ... if I can get my brain round it.

Spotted Ellie, 'gentle' hugs are just what is needed, not too tight ! And I have been mumbling 'no more bump, its done its done its done' each time I look in the mirror. Thank you; Bumble's exploits continue to cheer, love to you both.

Friday, 24 November 2006 at 07:07:00 GMT  
Blogger Charlesdawson said...

Great to hear that it is all over bar the throbbing, Sally!

If people knew what was going to happen to them in operating theatres, no-one would ever go in (ask any nurse).

I hope things continue to improve and am sending Positive Vibes every time I think of it.

I trust you have an Advanced Driving Licence for that stairlift!

Friday, 24 November 2006 at 08:29:00 GMT  
Blogger Sally's Life said...

I can feel them, I can feel them - the PVs !
Thanks CD 'medic extraordinaire'; you too, along with my GP, did not let on what it was really going to be like - thanks, for holding that back for me.
Apparently, it is only my imagination that the staples were gunned into my skull, but it is enough to be told that it requires 'special equipment' to take them out next week.


Friday, 24 November 2006 at 18:35:00 GMT  
Blogger Charlesdawson said...

Yes, a hammer and chisel really wouldn't do.

I didn't tell you because I didn't know, exactly, and there is nothing worse than out-of-date or faulty information.

Course, if your medics had sworn that it wouldn't be any worse than a manicure, I might have felt obliged to say something...

Friday, 24 November 2006 at 19:05:00 GMT  
Blogger Sally's Life said...

Being a bit fragile about my take on things, I got the distinct feeling that on a scale of 1 to 10 I was in danger of viewing the coming surgery as a 10, and on the surgeon's scale my coming surgery was just a 1 - yes, the equivalent of a manicure as opposed to a re-sewn on digit. I don't know where I am going with this ... must be the drugs talking ... anyway, I sensed that although it was a serious undertaking, I didn't need to dwell on it; all would be well ... from you and others, which saw me through in a frame of mind that helped ... mumble mumble.

Saturday, 25 November 2006 at 20:55:00 GMT  

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