Sunday, 13 May 2007

Asperger's, Anonymity and other ripples on the pond

Addendum 16.5.07 - see Postscript for experiences over on the other side of the pond.

I have a close relative, aged late 20s, with Asperger's. A was always the brightest kid on the block. Some years ago on work experience, before there was a diagnosis, A wiped the computers of the company providing the work experience, beyond and below the computers' factory settings. A was a bit of a genius, still is, with computers, but in those days was still experimenting.

Some years on, A has found an appropriate niche and is safe, as safe as any of us can be in this world, and enjoying life so far as a disablist society will allow. That means A has sheltered employment, sheltered accommodation and an accompanied social life.

A is still taken advantage of, usually without realising it until later, or when it is explained, then A is embarrassed and quiet and very hurt and retreats a little bit more. The retreats have always limited A a bit more, for A is naturally an outgoing social kind of person.

In written communication A is enthusiastic, optimistic, wants to share achievements wanting praise like the rest of us, expects the world to react in the open honest straightforward way A approaches the world. Except to close family, A never refers to the Asperger's condition; it is that part that A feels is very hidden and that is how the unaware world deals with A.

So - often A is used; by carers, by older, wiser, craftier, contacts. A can be manipulated without knowing it and has been used as part of a game plan by others, then is left to carry the brunt of reactions to the little game. A protests it was not so and is bewildered. Close friends and family have to wait until A's strong emotions have subsided a little so that A is open to having the scenario explained so that A can appreciate how it happened, to build a bit more onto the protective shield, from that experience.

A thinks, hopes, the humiliations of teenage years, the pre-diagnosis years, are in the past. A now has a public profile in the voluntary role A carries out and is well known in that circle, community and geographical area. A is more protected by the fact of having a public image, and gregariousness that suits that voluntary role.

We still have to look out for A, just in case A unwittingly, or encouraged by others; drops a pebble in the pond and is suprised by the ripples that come crashing back to the shore.

POSTSCRIPT:
Andrea has written an informative and worrying piece on this condition in American society, and commentators affected have given their experiences. Read it by clicking on THIS


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2 Comments:

Blogger Ol Rocky said...

Story of my life, and today I must visit the doctor for a Certificate to say I am still alive.

In my old age I like to think I have learnt about being farmed or used to someone elses advantage.
No longer Being grateful for low pay, or being given menaial work because I am dissabled!

Despite my technical experience and qualifications!

So I play a game with people of letting them guess how dissabled I really am without me letting on about the problems I find.

I have found that Doctors can only pass you from one to the next assessing one in the process to oblivion or death.

They can tell you what is wrong, or is it just each trying to outdo the last, is that really me or just them trying to pretned they know something.

they may play God.
but still cannot offer any magic cure bullets.

So today will be interesting, I have had a major setback in one area, which I'll tell one day.
But have found being positive and confident makes a mockery of findings in other areas.

Will I tell the Doctor of my setback and hair raising consequences?

Don't know yet!

But now I am off to find some pleasant pictures, which people viewing will never know just how much difficulty was involved in the taking of.

All part of the fun of getting my own back!

"Whos' that knocking at my door"
keeps going around in my head but I can't think of a polite way to put some fun into it from the udder side of da worlde!

Incidentally I have big Brother who has skeletal problems probabaly induced by a drug not dissimilar to Thalidomide in formula it seems (DES)
because his skull bones grew incorrectly he was never properly edumacated.

Took me years to realise he is bright just the system refused to educate him.

Recently he went through major traumtic surgery to remove his "lump" and it seems now his eyes not don't work properly.

Which my Big Sister says 60 odd years ago the reason they did want to not operate was cause they thought his eyesight may go wonky.

Modern medisine?

Sunday, 13 May 2007 at 22:55:00 BST  
Blogger Sally's Life said...

Hi Rocky
I do think that the system, whether it be government or insurance administrators, or medicine, causes just as many problems as the originating medical condition.

Your pictures are much enjoyed

My post was inspired by another blog, reminding me that not all impaired people are the gentle souls that he is.

Tuesday, 15 May 2007 at 09:48:00 BST  

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