It's all relative
News just in from the village pump, acquired during a brief welcome respite from the rain which allowed the sun, birds and parishioners outside for a brief spell. (This news item has been confirmed by the Goldfish.)
From 1st July all churches have to display A5 size NO SMOKING signs outside the entrance door(s).
I heard this from my neighbour the beef farmer/church warden/school governor/fellow trustee (too many jobs, not enough villagers to go round) who was incensed (although low church) by this latest example of the government telling him what to do.
He was incredulous, until I checked with him whether he knew that A5 was just a bit bigger than his wallet and not the size of that new fangled flip chart (A2) the Parish Plan committee used to draw spidergrams instead of listening to the Chair or having discussions.
That cheered him up enormously and we discussed whether the size of the NO SMOKING sign ought to be in proportion to the size or capacity of the building, so that A5 for the small parish church would equate to a NO SMOKING sign as big as my WAV outside the door(s) of Salisbury Cathedral.
Which led to us considering, not entirely seriously, how many languages Salisbury, as a matter of course, translate their signs into, and whether we are exempt from translating NO SMOKING into other languages, as the only languages regularly visited upon this parish are Dorsetshire, Grockle (as spoken by non-locals) and Incandescent Swearing.
On a more solemn note, I am despondent at the news also received today, that my new Wheelchair Accessible Vehicle will not now be delivered on 31 May, when the lease on my current Renault Kangoo WAV ends, and I have to wait until mid-July. They are still building it.
Much scurrying around by Motability, Brotherwoods, Car Insurers, MOT certificate checker-uppers followed. Disappointment from my Bump (who cannot withstand the noise of the wheelchair tie down bracket in my moving Renault Kangoo WAV) as she had already got her bucket, spade and shades ready, to hit the beach the very next day. Rain permitting.