Tuesday, 15 May 2007

It's all relative

News just in from the village pump, acquired during a brief welcome respite from the rain which allowed the sun, birds and parishioners outside for a brief spell. (This news item has been confirmed by the Goldfish.)

From 1st July all churches have to display A5 size NO SMOKING signs outside the entrance door(s).

I heard this from my neighbour the beef farmer/church warden/school governor/fellow trustee (too many jobs, not enough villagers to go round) who was incensed (although low church) by this latest example of the government telling him what to do.

He was incredulous, until I checked with him whether he knew that A5 was just a bit bigger than his wallet and not the size of that new fangled flip chart (A2) the Parish Plan committee used to draw spidergrams instead of listening to the Chair or having discussions.

That cheered him up enormously and we discussed whether the size of the NO SMOKING sign ought to be in proportion to the size or capacity of the building, so that A5 for the small parish church would equate to a NO SMOKING sign as big as my WAV outside the door(s) of Salisbury Cathedral.
Photo by Sally
Salisbury Cathedral West Front - completed circa 1265

Which led to us considering, not entirely seriously, how many languages Salisbury, as a matter of course, translate their signs into, and whether we are exempt from translating NO SMOKING into other languages, as the only languages regularly visited upon this parish are Dorsetshire, Grockle (as spoken by non-locals) and Incandescent Swearing.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~

On a more solemn note, I am despondent at the news also received today, that my new Wheelchair Accessible Vehicle will not now be delivered on 31 May, when the lease on my current Renault Kangoo WAV ends, and I have to wait until mid-July. They are still building it.
Much scurrying around by Motability, Brotherwoods, Car Insurers, MOT certificate checker-uppers followed. Disappointment from my Bump (who cannot withstand the noise of the wheelchair tie down bracket in my moving Renault Kangoo WAV) as she had already got her bucket, spade and shades ready, to hit the beach the very next day. Rain permitting.


Blogger Lily said...

I'm aghast at the need for such a sign! Do the faithful puff away during services or are we talking disrespectful day-trippers?

Tuesday, 15 May 2007 at 21:57:00 BST  
Blogger Sally's Life said...

Hello, Good Evening and Welcome !

That is the point isn't it - NOBODY smokes in Church ever, anywhere, ever, not never nohow.

And ... and ... I am assuming that the incense smoking away up by the altar has not been censored (!) and does not count !!

Tuesday, 15 May 2007 at 22:08:00 BST  
Blogger Sally's Life said...

Oh come on Lily - so you have relocated to Yorkshire, but I know that they don't speak the language that appears on your blog page I am linking to ! What gives ?

Tuesday, 15 May 2007 at 22:18:00 BST  
Blogger Charlesdawson said...

Sorry to hear about the car delay. At least your Bump is not gazing at blazing blue skies and feeling sweltering temperatures and fretting at the waste of time.....typical Dorset May weather.

Wednesday, 16 May 2007 at 09:13:00 BST  
Blogger Sally's Life said...

And probably June weather as well ... what I would give to have the AGA back on right now, (to dry the laundry if nothing else) but I can't afford any more heating oil until the autumn.

But with all that rain and the normal temperatures, around 15 degrees C, for this time of year (it is only England afterall) yours is probably beginning to resemble a bit of a jungle - my grass cutter asked shall he bring the heavy duty petrol driven strummer next time ... NO not while the food nettles are out for the butterflies and cow parsley is frothing.

Oh Lord, its stopped raining, and the bastard neighbour is taking his sit-on mower out into the field, which he is turning into a putting green ... that's it now for the next 3 1/2 hours it takes to get round the entire field. Pillock.

Wednesday, 16 May 2007 at 13:47:00 BST  
Blogger Sally's Life said...

Strimmer not strummer; maybe I was in tune (!) with your lute playing dustman before I had even read your blog !

Wednesday, 16 May 2007 at 14:03:00 BST  
Blogger Sally's Life said...

So I went to Salisbury Cathedral for the afternoon, which is totally wheelchair accessible, and this visit spent some time on the Whistler glass engravings while the organist flexed his fingers and toes. Then after tea and chocolate brownies, stayed for Evensong which was a heavenly blessing. The 4,000 pipes of the Willis Organ (1877) and the Girl Choristers rained down peace and joy and it was so much better for me than trying to keep up with paperwork back home accompanied by the noise of the grass cutter.

Wednesday, 16 May 2007 at 20:11:00 BST  
Blogger Lily said...

I dread to think what kind of blog page you're linking to, Sally, but it isn't mine - I still haven't started a new blog, there's only my profile up there!

Wednesday, 16 May 2007 at 21:32:00 BST  
Blogger Lily said...

Gosh that's weird! If you click on the lily link in comments you get my profile page but if you click on the lily link in your people to see list, you get a thai blog! Perhaps you should check the rest of the list in case they've all migrated to the orient!

Wednesday, 16 May 2007 at 21:35:00 BST  
Blogger BloggingMone said...

A non smoking sign at a church door is wired. People do smoke everywhere and any time, but I have never ever seen or heard of anyone smoking in church.
I like listening to church organs. They are at all times preferable to a lawn mower.

Thursday, 17 May 2007 at 08:01:00 BST  
Blogger Sally's Life said...

"... at all times preferable ..."

I used to smoke up to about 26 years ago and then everyone seemed to smoke. Now, thanks to the ban on smoking in all (enclosed ?)public places, I can freely go anywhere without coughing. Now, I am not sure whether there is a law that says people cannot walk around outside holding lit cigarettes at face or hand level of people in wheelchairs.

Thursday, 17 May 2007 at 09:40:00 BST  
Blogger Sally's Life said...

No, its just you Lily. If you have suspended a blog page, then I believe the name is up for grabs by anyone, anywhere. Good luck !

Thursday, 17 May 2007 at 09:44:00 BST  

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